Monday, August 10, 2009

falling asleep with bleeding eyelids
finally able to achieve sleep just to wake up an hour later. then eating (& regretting).

my mind is filled with devilish dreams of spreading my wings and escaping to a place where i don't even need to use words, sentences, paragraphs, commas, semi-colons, periods,. i question myself on whether i'm really chronically depressed, or is it just these pills they're pumping me on. i ask myself, was i always this deranged and misled?

i miss myself,
or maybe, i miss who i thought i was.





watching the virgin suicides to maybe feel better; failing miserably.
the only positive side to this is i know i would never jump out a window and plunge myself into a fence.

i consistently find myself missing you by a minute, we're completely disconnective at the moment, & all i think i really need are your words (of wisdom) to tame my wild heart. i'm kiltering, i'm faling, i'm breathless, & i think i'm choking.

tonight, your eyes on mind would make me feel less hollow.

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